Sleep is the cure all
Last night, the hubs told me to sleep after dinner. Normally, I give Ollie a bath around 6pm, read for about a half hour (which he loves) and then he nurses and is asleep by 7pm. That is on a good night, where he doesn’t have a freak out and cries all night.
So I listened to the hubs. Laundry, dishes, a dirty home can wait. I quickly ate dinner and I was asleep by 8pm.
I was conked out until Olie woke me up for a feeding at 3am! And then I slept again afterwards till Ollie woke up around 6:30am!
I felt so refreshed and I wasn’t tired at all. I felt so good and strong. Good thing too because tonight, Ollie had another screaming session. What’s more amazing is that I was calm the entire time.
I held Ollie close to me and kept telling him that I’m here, we are here for him. He never has to be sad or scared because we will always love him. I told him things I wish my own mother would have told me.
don’t worry Ollie. You never have to feel sad or scared because you can always come home.
Don’t worry if you make mistakes and are too scared to tell me. I will always accept you with loving arms. I’ll help you learn from your mistakes. We need to forgive ourselves right? Life is about learning from our mistakes.
Don’t ever think about life being too hard to handle, don’t ever think about ending your life because you always have a happy reason to live. You have us, we are your family. We will always welcome you home. Even if we have passed, our spirits live in you, you are always with us.
I know, deep topics towards the end. Mostly because I had a friend pass recently from suicide and it made me so sad. I had another friend in 2004 kill herself too. It breaks my heart that both had children.
I don’t want Ollie to ever feel like life is too sad or depressing to end. There is so much good to live for, life is already short.
I love you my son. I will love you forever.