I used to blog for Weddingbee, way back in 2006-2007 and I’ve made so many wonderful friends through it. A lot of the bees and I have transitioned from wedding to marriage and pregnancy (or fertility issues) and children. It’s an amazing community of women who have always been supportive of one another, offering advice and an ear whenever anyone needs someone.

My bee friend May (lovebird) has been keeping in touch with me and checking in on me all the time and she’s already been so generous with gifts for me during pregnancy! To my surprise, I woke up to a package from her and it brought so many tears to my eyes. 

She knew how homesick I have been, how much I miss my friend and America… she organized a package of cards, pictures, gifts and photos of some of the bees babies and sent them to me in a heart shaped box. Tears started to flow from my eyes as I opened each card, reading all the love from my weddingbee friends. All the bees are from all over America so they sent their cards/gifts/photos to May, who then sent the package to me. 

Each card was wishing us luck, love and much happiness and a lot of them said such wonderful things about me. I honestly don’t know what I did to deserve all of this. May, thank you so much for going out of your way to plan all of this for me! 

I will treasure these cards forever and show Boram how many people already love him. My heart melted.

And of course some gifts from the girls too! A book from May (Lovebird), toys from Kristin (Quiche), clothes from Stephanie (Hydrangea), and lovely stationary set from Nellie (Canary). 

The first page of the book May sent says this:

“I wanted you more than you ever will know, so I sent love to follow wherever you go.”

<3 I can’t wait to read this to my son. Thank you Weddingbee sisters, and especially to you May. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

After living here about 1.5 years I can say that I’ve come a LONG way in terms of understanding the culture and language in Shanghai. 

I remember when we first got here… I absolutely hated it. Not so much the people, the city or just being here but the fact that it was so foreign to me. I couldn’t understand anyone (which happens of course, in a new country) and some of the mannerisms caught me by surprise. 

Then as I learned the language, I began to communicate more and saw a whole different side to Shanghai. I started to explore more, understand the culture and fell in love with the city which is now my home. There is so much good in Shanghai and I’m so glad that my eyes have been opened. 

I hung out with some local friends recently and I honestly can’t tell if this is a personality thing or a cultural thing. But nearly every single time I hang out with them this is the typical conversation that happens:

Me: Aww thanks for inviting me out guys! It’s so nice that you think of me.

Friend: It’s not like you have any friends here or any plans so we know you’re free.

Ha. I can’t help but to laugh… it’s just so funny that they assume that I don’t have any plans, don’t have friends and that I’m just sitting around my home waiting for someone to call me. It’s so far from the truth, maybe when I first moved here I was free and bored but these days I’m actually settled in and quite busy. 

So… yeah, I can’t quite tell if it’s a cultural difference or their personality.

Here’s another convo:

Friend: What language are you going to speak to your baby?

Me: Probably Korean and English. I think the hubs will speak Cantonese and English and we figured since we’re in China, he’ll pick up a little Mandarin just from living here and going to school here.

Friend: Your baby is never going to talk, he’ll be so confused and it’s bad that you think he’ll be able to understand all those languages. I think you’re wrong.

Me:  Um… I grew up with multiple languages in my home and I was just fine.

Another instance is when I talk to a friend about how I want to wash my hair during the 30 days after birth and how it’s much easier to dry now that it’s short. My Hong Kong friends say it’s ok to do that because the non-hair washing tradition was because ladies had long hair and didn’t have a way to dry their hair quickly before they got cold again. So as long as I blow dry it quickly it’s fine.

My local friend here FLIPPED out on me when I told her that I want to wash my hair. 

Her: NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN’T WASH YOUR HAIR YOU WILL GET SICK. YOU ARE GOING TO RECOVERY TERRIBLY, IT’LL BE YOUR FAULT!

I’m not exaggerating. This was all yelling and placing the blame is something I am quite familiar with in the Chinese culture. 

My in laws have told me about certain foods being good for recovery and certain ones being bad. They have told me multiple times that if I don’t take care in what I eat that I can only blame myself in the recovery. 

Example:

Seaweed = bad because it lowers your inner body temperature, it is a “cold” food. Not physically cold, the digestive process of seaweed will lower my yin-yang balance and I shouldn’t have “cold” foods. 

Ginger = Good, cleanses and keeps your body temperature “warm”.

That’s just two examples. Now what makes me sad is that seaweed is in the “bad” category. As you know, I am Korean and one of the most prized and honored tradition is eating Korean seaweed soup. A lot of women eat this after birth to replenish their iron, help with their breast milk and nourish the mother. After a discussion  with the in laws I have decided not to eat it. Not because I don’t want to, I really do. But because they kept telling me how awful my recovery will be and that if I want to, they’ll make it for me but to keep in mind everything they said about my recovery with seaweed. 

If I happen to have a bad recovery, I don’t want them to blame the soup that my people eat so I figure… eh, 30 days and honestly, it doesn’t taste the same when a non-Korean makes the soup. So I’ll let my MIL do what she knows best and cook Chinese. I won’t deny I am a bit sad about not having the soup but I think this is better in the end of it all. 

And of course my in laws are only doing what they know is best in their culture and eyes. So I understand it’s not personal… it’s cultural. It’s still hard to grasp sometimes for me, being non Chinese and being told all these things that I should and shouldn’t be doing. They do have a tendency to believe that their culture is right in everything (food, beliefs, health, medicine, etc). So it makes it hard to have a solid discussion about my culture and how they really don’t know too much about it but make comparisons. I can’t tell if this is cultural or if it’s a combination of them being old and cultural to be so pushy and opinionated.

But in the end, they are good people… and I want to stress how much they are helping us here. My MIL buys all the groceries, runs errands, get things that she thinks I’ll like to eat and she does the cooking and dishes. They do a lot for us and I am so thankful for that.

So yes. Cultural differences… still getting used to it. Be it Shanghai or my Cantonese in laws. I love both but I wonder if I’ll ever “get it” fully. 

Fellow expats, I have to say… and I know there are a ton of you who email me and ask me where I get my groceries from. I was ordering online from here and there but never really found a place that I felt 100% happy about. Sometimes I would receive veggies or fruit that was half spoiled… sometimes I would just plain be disappointment just because I couldn’t find things I wanted to find.

I had lunch with a fellow expat friend, who is COMPLETELY awesome so you should go check her blog out right now: Donuts to Dumplings. And she recommended Gusto’s Fine Foods who have recently partnered with Kate & Kimi. Kristin was telling me how the quality of their produce is excellent and all the top hotels and restaurants on the Bund use their products!

I placed my first order to be delivered on Monday, ordering some meat and a veggie/fruit box for 2-3 people.

I am… BLOWN AWAY. (See above picture, that’s everything from our box!)

The quality of the fruits and veggies were out of this world. Tomatoes with no bruising? Salad greens without mold??? I know these are silly things as I should expect it but honestly nearly every delivery place I’ve ordered greens or tomatoes from have been horrendous. The variety and quantity of things in my veggie and fruit box were amazing, I am more than satisfied with it and will be ordering this weekly. Did I mention that they even threw in herbs for free with my box? *swoons*

I also know that once Boram is born and he’s old enough for baby food, I’ll be making my own baby food for him using their Baby & Toddler box. I’ll be posting recipes of what I make once I do!

I can’t wait to order their other products and do another review on them. If you’re looking for high quality produce, meats and much more… give Kate & Kimi a try! Let them know that I sent you because I’m always looking to help other expats out! While you’re at it, take a look at their FAQs, that is really what sold me on them!

I’ve been working on a crochet star mobile for Boram and was having a difficult time deciding what colors to use. I ended up using a bright blue and a pale yellow. It matches the sunshine mobile I made already and the beautiful blanket my NCMC girls made for our little boy.

Not to shabby eh? It turned out nicely, I added a brown ribbon on top to hide the knot that I made to hang the stars. It won’t hang over the crib, more likely next to the crib instead. But it’ll still look nice in the room, I think. Plus it’s stars, I love stars…

So we ordered a crib from Ikea and it got delivered yesterday! They assembled it and we put it in our room for now (first few months till midnight feedings aren’t so frequent). I just love the color of it!

I couldn’t resist putting some things around it to make it feel more like a real baby “area”. I’m planning on hanging the sunshine mobile on the wall, above the crib. I also think I’ll be taking the framed pictures and putting them on the wall around the mobile. I hope it works out, even if it doesn’t… I can redo it once we move Boram into his own room! 

What do you think?? Doesn’t it look great?

And today I had lunch with the fabulous, Kristin of Donuts to Dumplings. She is a fellow expat from NY who lives in Shanghai and we had the best time getting to know one another and eating delicious Cantonese food. It was fun to talk about our experiences here and how much we love Shanghai. So happy to meet you today girl! 

Right when I got home, I saw a package was addressed to the hubs, Boram and I! It was from Elyse, Brad and their daughter Estella. They spoil us with so many things and while they were visiting in Hawaii, they sent us some aloha love for our baby. So sweet. Mahalo guys!!!!

I suppose now would be a good time to go organize our place a little. It looks a little like a tornado passed through because I was trying to rearrange stuff so that our home is ready for the baby. Ok, well… very SLOWLY, which is why it’s so messy! haha

Hope everyone has a great weekend! 

It’s my favorite holiday and it’ll be our second one in Shanghai. I really miss our loved ones back in the states and everything about this holiday. 

I absolutely love the food during Thanksgiving and although they have Thanksgiving dinners around Shanghai… they are quite expensive and not quite the same as a home cooked meal. One of these days, I’ll attempt it… perhaps without a turkey (it’s so crazy expensive here) and the sides. But tonight, the hubs boss is taking us to a steak house! So although not Thanksgiving meal, it is American.

The best part about this holiday is being thankful. I have so much to be thankful for, especially this year. Being an expat here has been quite rough in the beginning. I couldn’t speak the language, understand anyone and since I am Korean… people assume that I’m Chinese. They immediately begin to say how terrible my Chinese is, until they find out I’m Korean! LOL Then suddenly I’m amazing. 

But since it’s been difficult, I’ve been studying a lot and I am thankful for my Chinese teacher. Miss Zhang has made Chinese so fun and that has made it very easy to learn. She is always a glimmer of sunshine and genuinely kind. Because of her, my Chinese is now at a place of comfort and I can read around 100+ characters in Chinese. I can go out, bargain/buy things… take cabs without a problem, have basic conversations and most importantly: being able to talk to my MIL. 

I have to say that it’s so nice being able to speak Chinese with my MIL, we’ve shared quite a few moments of heart to hearts because of Chinese. English doesn’t translate well at all. Because of Chinese, I understand my in laws a lot more now… The Chinese language is so different from English/Korean. It’s brought me even closer to them and I’m thankful for that.

Living in Shanghai has made me drastically more independent. I never thought about how difficult it is, living in another country and being a foreigner. Simple things like ordering food, buying things and well… conversing with people were so difficult. But now, I feel comfortable going out by myself and doing things I once did in NYC. I’m thankful that after a year or so, I’m feeling like Shanghai is home. 

I’ve made a few friends here and there, it’s actually not that easy to meet people like me. I feel like the locals see me as a foreigner and the foreigners see me as a local. I feel like I’m stuck in the middle where I don’t know where I fit in. Perhaps I should reach out more and find expats, though… I’m not even sure where to begin with that. However, I am thankful for the friends I do have here. They have been unbelievably nice and generous to the hubs and I. They always check up on me to see how I’m doing and ask if I need anything. It’s really nice to have good friends here.

I’m crazy happy and thankful that I am pregnant. Even on the days where I don’t feel all that great, I’m smiling because I have a little, itty bitty baby in my belly. My heart is filled with love and joy that my wish to be a mother, to have a family of my own has begun. I can’t wait to have our little Boram grow up in Shanghai and get to experience Chinese culture with us. Hopefully Boram will also learn Korean and Cantonese since mommy and daddy speak those, but I’m perfectly happy if all it knows is Mandarin and English.

I think about my friends back home and how much time and energy they have spent towards me.

Since we moved here, HJ (bff) has contacted me nearly every day and talked to me. It’s been something I look forward to, especially on days I woke up lonely. She’s been a constant source of encouragement, support and love. She’s been there at my lowest lows and stuck by me. I have to say… if you have a friend half as awesome as HJ, you are blessed. (Um.. she even talked to me during her labor, that is commitment!)

Jess (NCMC) has always been a support and she had a newborn! She always made time to reach out to me. She’s offered advice, support and a shoulder to lean on. It really amazes me how wonderful she is to me. I am truly lucky to have her in my life.

Vivian, Meli and Qing (NCMC + Jess) are my closest girlfriends from back home. They always reach out, tell me they miss and love me. Listen to me whine about my terrible days and offer support. These girls make me feel so special, always been there and you know those warm, fuzzy feelings you get when you’re all happy and feel loved? Yeah, those girls make me feel that all the time. I just love them so much.

And of course my husband. It isn’t just Thanksgiving that I’m thankful for him. Every single day, he amazes me with how much he loves me. I honestly had no idea that love could be like this. He never, ever gets upset or angry with me. He always greets me with open arms and kisses. The moment I am  feeling lonely or unhappy (especially being here) he does everything in his power to cheer me up and to tell me I’m not alone. 

Even the little things like… oh I don’t know, a fruit tart that I was craving last night. He calls up every bakery in Shanghai (at 9pm), finds a place that has one. Takes a cab all the way across town, in the cold and rain. Gets there, they end up not having it. Goes to another bakery and finds something similar (since nowhere has one that late), brings me home a multitude of desserts… just because I am craving it.

I ask him… “You don’t have to do this! Isn’t this so annoying?”

Him: “Of course not, I would do anything for you. You crave fruit tarts, I will get you four. Besides, fresh air is good!”

Ugh, he makes me tear up sometimes. He had a long day at work and he went all over town looking for a fruit tart for me (sad, they sold out everywhere) but he told me today he’s getting me some!

It’s not just the things he goes out of his way to get for me but his heart. He makes me feel so loved, so happy and I have nothing to fear. He’s made home a safe place for me, a first since I grew up as a child in a house of abuse. 

He is my family. I love him so much.

So this Thanksgiving… I’m thankful for a lot of things but these things especially. 

What are you thankful for?

I hope you all have a wonderful, safe and happy Thanksgiving. 

ps: take pictures of your thanksgiving meal and send them to me. I miss that so much. xo

I was sitting in a popular expat cafe, enjoying my tea and crocheting gifts. I had two purses: my regular stuff and the other had lots of yarn.

Two ladies across from me (clearly expats like myself), had a full on conversation about nearly everyone in the cafe.

Then suddenly they talked about me!

They didn’t sound mean, I just thought it was funny. I think it’s easy to assume, Asians in China are Chinese. But there are some of us (expats that are Chinese and not Chinese) that understand!

Ever been in an awkward moment like this?

I chose to laugh instead of get offended. They were blushing and kept apologizing. And we ended up talking a little and it was fun.

I think I’ll get a haircut in the near future, it’s been a while! Haha

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Hello everyone! Typhoon Haikui is in Shanghai and most businesses are closed today. We thought it would hit around midnight and we were prepared last night for it but it’s actually hitting us strong right now! 

The winds are high, the rain is harsh and our entire apartment is rattling. Are we scared? Nah… the last two times we were in Hong Kong, we actually had typhoons both times. The last time went from an 8 to a 10 (the highest warning)! My mum (MIL) was telling me that some people actually go outside during it to experience the wind. It was probably really stupid of us to go just a block over to watch the new Batman… but it was definitely worth it!

So what are we to do at home all day? We’ve been watching old Stephen Chow movies and I’ve been cooking up a storm. If you don’t know who Stephen Chow is… you’re missing out. He’s hilarious (whether you understand or not) and I always tell my hubs that I want a son like Stephen. I would just laugh all the time from having a funny son.

Thankfully, we had a delivery of organic produce from a local farm two days ago, so we’ll ok with food. Since the hubs probably has to go back to work tomorrow (if the typhoon is gone), I wanted to make him lunch. So I made two bentos, one for lunch and the other for snacking. 

I actually have another few places that I’m going to blog about from our HK friends visiting this past weekend! We ate at one of my favorite chocolate dessert places in Shanghai and…. you will drool when you see the pics.  

Hope everyone (wherever you are!) is safe, happy and healthy!

It’s been almost a month since my last post and it was a must needed break. I actually wasn’t planning on coming back to blogging for a long while….

I came back because I got quite a few emails from people I knew and don’t know that they miss me! Awwww. SERIOUSLY? I feel like my blog doesn’t contain much and when it does, it’s so personal. Plus my hubby told me to get back to blogging because it’s been a serious resource to friends that are visiting. Not to mention all the new places we are experiencing and how I should share them with the world.

So this is to say that I’m coming back and I’ll keep the super personal stuff (like my fertility) either to myself or in private posts. But I do have to say that this month off has done wonders. I feel refreshed, recharged and most of all… SUPER HAPPY.

I am NOT pregnant, just FYI.

But I have many things to celebrate. I’m currently in the process of being interviewed for music!

I caught the attention of a few people with my music and their companies are highly interested in hiring me for their commercials! If all goes well, you might end up hearing my music on your tv.

So although I am not pregnant (YET), I feel like things are getting in order for me over here. I felt so frustrated, sad and lonely while I have been here in Shanghai. After almost 9 months of being in Shanghai, it’s definitely home and I might have a few jobs! Between writing music for a producer (such a LONG process), for commercials (how cool would that be?) and getting to EAT and BLOG about treats that I eat…… I’m pretty happy.

I want to thank those that wrote me again. I jumped with joy hearing from you(s) and had the biggest smile on my face.

It’s nice to be missed.

What a wonderful day today was.

Well, it didn’t start off all that great because I woke up at 5am to the sound of a mosquito by my ear… which I killed. But I have 5 bites (the size of tennis balls) on my face, arms and hands. I’m pretty sure they came from the plants that I bought yesterday from the Hongqiao market. Boo. I wonder if 5 bites means there are at least 3 mosquitoes. (cries) Why do they LOVE ME? How do I find them and get rid of them? Is anyone else as allergic as I am?

The hubs went into work in the afternoon today so it was nice to spend the first half of the day with him. We went to eat breakfast at Element Fresh. It’s one of my “go to” breakfast places because it’s close to our home and the price is reasonable. We also went there for my birthday for breakfast and I definitely ate way too much that morning.

Afterwards, we paid our cell phone bills… I still can’t believe it is around $15 USD for our cell plus data service. That just blows my mind and I wish America was like that too. We went to the travel agency to buy our tickets to Hong Kong, we’re going for the weekend to see the hubby’s auntie and family. I miss his oldest auntie who passed away and I think of her often. So we’re going to go see the youngest auntie (koo-je), see some of the hubs childhood friends, eat some DELICIOUS Cantonese food and come back. I can’t help but think of the BRO and how much he would enjoy this trip too. (bro, we’ll eat on your behalf hehe)

The hubs then went to work and I walked over to a bookstore that Alina took me to before. I had about an hour to kill before I met up with my friend J. She met me at the bookstore and they had excellent gelato in the cafe. So if you’re ever around the Jing’An area, check out Garden Books. They have an array of English books and it’s quite cozy.

We ended up talking for two hours, it’s so freeing to speak without thinking about how to say something. We spoke mostly in English, at times Korean and it was so pleasant. She loves Shanghai and gave me a lot of tips on where to go for what. I must have asked her a million questions about the most random things but she had an answer for everything!

She told me about a place where she gets her groceries that is cheap and works with organic farmers. Avocado Lady looks like a regular Chinese small market but they have everything you would ever need. They have imported Australian beef, many kinds of cheeses, organic yogurt and tons of fruits, herbs and veggies. It’s kind of a one stop shop. We went together and bought so much.

I bought oyster mushrooms, oranges, papaya, rosemary, thyme canned tuna, imported coffee (to make cold brewed ice coffee thanks to my friend Jess NCMC showed me!) and plain greek yogurt. The yogurt was only 7RMB! Yay, I finally found a place that has yogurt that isn’t an arm and a leg. (HJ – YAY I don’t need the yogurt culture anymore!) They even have nuts, eggs, dried fruit, canned imported products and they speak English. CUE ANGELS SINGING!

I think I’m still recovering because my body felt incredibly tired and weak once I bought everything. It probably didn’t help that it’s so humid out and I was drenched in sweat. I took a taxi and to my surprise, I didn’t even hesitate telling him where I need to go.

I usually think in English then translate to Chinese and try to figure out how to tell the driver how to get into our apartment complex. Usually it takes a couple tries for me to kind of explain to him and it takes a lot of hand motions.

I just told him the intersection of where I want to go. Then I told him to make a right. First entrance on the left, go straight, make a left at the end of the complex and go to the very end and stop there. ALL IN CHINESE. *SELF HIGH FIVE* (a la Barney in HIMYM)

The driver was extremely kind and told me that my Chinese is very good. I thanked him and felt proud.

I’m pretty sure my Chinese teacher is going to be so happy when she hears about this tomorrow! Speaking of which, I better get started on my homework that’s due tomorrow. I basically have to write about my week (like my blog) in Chinese. LOL

I guess using google translate on my last three posts and printing it would be too obvious.

–
Garden Books
325 Changle Lu

Avocado Lady
274 Wulumuqi Lu