22
Jun

O-M-G I’m 33!!!!

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Oh my goodness. I had a realllllllllllllly emotional night last night. Sorry if I scared anyone but I was so comforted by a few things. 1. That the yoga pose Savasana (resting pose) can evoke releasing of emotional toxins (boy.. have I had a lot of that in the past!) 2. The BFF and my friend Layla were telling me sometimes that happens with the trauma of surgery and anesthesia. That makes total sense as well, I felt really …. unreal. If that makes sense? 

I felt bad because the husband was all excited to take me out to dinner last night (since today/my birthday he has to work late). I was emotional and didn’t know why, my brain was telling me that everything is great!!! The surgery was successful and this is a step towards becoming parents. When we got home, the hubs told me to do the savasana pose to help my body rest. As I was doing the pose and concentrating on breathing…. the tears came, I couldn’t stop. On a different note, doesn’t our dinner (above) look so delicious? I love Cantonese food so much!

 

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I woke up this morning feeling a bit back to normal. The BRO messaged me and kept telling me to get on FaceTime and when I did… the fam wished me happy birthday!!!! My MIL/FIL hid a giant card in our home when they were in Shanghai and had me look for it this morning. Isn’t it adorable?? 

Inside it says “Our dear daughter. On this special day, we wish you all the dreams to come true. We are so pleased to let you know that we are proud to have you being one of the family members. We love you and hope that we can be staying together in your next birthday. Happy birthday! Dad & Mom”

Tears. Hehe. Tears. (After I got off camera of course hehe)

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Since the hubs works late today, he totally spoiled me with a yummy breakfast and foot massages! I’m truly blessed that he is seriously an amazing husband. He takes such good care of me and really knows how to make me feel special. The spa even gave me a gift for my birthday. YAY!

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Oh my… now onto the gifts. Amongst many things the hubs already gave me…. H&M and Uniqlo had a CRRRRRRAZY sale. I bought quite a few shirts (thanks hubby!) for myself since I lost some weight from yoga and my clothes are a little big. So now I have some (cheap) clothes that fit me! The hubs bought me a beautiful purse and a passport cover (he has one so he thought I should too)! I love that he is so awesome at style, I don’t really have style… I usually have him do the shopping for me. But I do have to admit, it was fun going through the sales today. 

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And one of my favorite birthday moments? My niece, Claire, wearing her “Auntie loves me” shirt and chatting with us the moment I woke up. I love her little smile, her waves and her eyes when she sees us. Fills my heart with joy. I also loved waking up to my husband hugs and kisses and him screaming “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!”. And of course my BFF always, always talking to me, every single day and especially today! Good lord, she’s my BFF for a reason, she’s amazing. 

Then there are alllllllllllllllllllll of my friends (FB, email, texts, comments), all of youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!! My goodness. If you gals were trying to make me feel beyond loved, you succeeded!!!!!!!!! 

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!! I’m beaming, BEAMING with happiness. Feeling back to normal, feeling so happy on my birthday. Feeling positive! 

Happy birthday to me and thank you day to you, my friends!

 
22
Jun

The Day After My Surgery

I have been feeling off all day.

I don’t know quite what it is but I feel like a big chunk of my soul is gone. I’ve been feeling out of it and really emotional all day. I don’t know if it’s because of the surgery or what but I just feel sad.

It’s technically my birthday (Shanghai time) but it doesn’t feel like it. Tomorrow I’ll be spending the day by myself since the hubs has to work. (It’s a busy time for him, stressful time as well) I’m just not that excited about my birthday at all. Maybe because I’m also over 30, so it kind of all blurs together from here on.

But I just feel WEIRD. I feel really out of my element, I feel really, really sad. Maybe I’m still in recovery mode? I don’t know. I ended up in tears tonight, I can’t even sleep. I feel so sad.

I got an email from my doctor just a little while ago and she said it’s a good thing we did the surgery. She found one giant polyp (the one she saw during an ultrasound) and two small ones. I’m going to see her for an update in two weeks.

I’m doing my yoga breathing to calm myself down. I wish I could pin point why I am feeling this way. Could it be exhaustion from the surgery? I don’t know,… I just feel REALLY down. 

I’ll try doing some yoga at home tomorrow and hope that will bring my moods back up. I know this will pass, I must be positive because nothing is WRONG. I feel bad because the hubs took me out for a nice dinner for my birthday (since he works super late tomorrow). What’s wrong with me? Maybe I just need to have a good night’s sleep and I’ll be better in the morning?

Has anyone else felt this way after a surgery? 

[edit]
and THIS pops up in my google reader. All I’ve been doing is the Savasana pose, could this be why I’m crying so much today?  I’ve been doing this pose when I got home from the surgery, I also did it a lot today as well. 

 
18
Jun

10 Life Changing Tips Inspired by the Dalai Lama

Taken from MindBodyGreen.com (one of my favorite things to read on my RSS)

Here are ten life changing tips inspired by quotes from His Holiness, the Dalai Lama:
1. Be grateful to be alive
“Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it.”
2. Be kind
“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.”
3. Work at being happy
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
4. Embrace life’s challenges
“There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’ No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.”
5. Be optimistic
“Choose to be optimistic, it feels better.”
6. Help others
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”
7. Be compassionate
“I believe compassion to be one of the few things we can practice that will bring immediate and long-term happiness to our lives.”
8. Embrace setbacks
“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”
9. Find strength from within
“When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways – either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength.”
10. Don’t judge others
“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.”
—–
I know that this won’t be easy to do but I am definitely going to try to think about these 10 things on a daily basis. I think for the most part, I do live this way. Though #8, #9 are two that I really need to work on.

I have to say that Yoga is definitely helping me a lot with happiness and oddly enough #8 and #9. I think it overall makes me feel confident and really releases my stress.

I love reading quotes by the Dalai Lama and think he’s been a huge source of inspiration for me. I like to live my life positively and try my best to see the silver lining, no matter how bad it gets. (I do have my bad days though)

What do you guys think? Do these 10 sound about right for a healthy life?

I’m so nervous about the surgery but I know it’s going to be ok. I’m going to continue doing yoga and hopefully pregnancy will happen soon.

Meanwhile, I will definitely keep these 10 things in mind.

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Not perfect but getting there by practicing everyday! Downward dog/yoga.

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15
Jun

Couples Yoga and Operation

20120615-115623.jpg Yesterday, I took the hubs to yoga. We were lucky that the teacher (at the spa) didn’t charge us extra for a private class. To my surprise, he loved it and wants to go twice a week! We started the warm up and then got right into poses with one another! I have never experienced yoga like that. He was placed in child’s pose as I lay spine to spine on him. We also did the double downward dog pose! He also did these on top of me! We did a few other poses and I’m so proud of him because it can be a bit intimidating for a first time yogi to do something really different. But he’s a trooper! We got an hour massage afterwards in the same spa and amazed at the price (with membership). We had an hour yoga plus massage (two people) for 100 USD. Isn’t that kind of insane? So affordable… Granted its not something we will do every week (and this isn’t the cheapest in Shanghai) but it really calmed me down about my upcoming surgery and the spa atmosphere was really relaxing.

20120615-120037.jpg We hopped across the street to La Taverna. We never noticed it before so we gave it a try. They have been open for a month, which explains why we don’t remember seeing it. It was delicious and the price was very reasonable. The staff was incredibly kind and well mannered too. The gelato (especially the chocolate) was delicious and according to our waitress, it was imported from Italy!

This morning, I went in for my pre operation blood work and ultrasound. Since my uterine lining is quite thin (after my period), my doctor had a better look at my polyp. It’s a lot bigger than they expected and scheduled my surgery for this Wednesday. Not my birthday (Friday) so that’s good!

She said that the polyp is blocking the egg from being fertilized ad removing it is the answer. I have to take medicine the day of. The medicine will make me start bleeding (so my lining is thin again). They will operate and remove the polyp and then I will be in the hospital to recover.

I told her I’m a little scared, she said its normal. It’s ok to be scared but to be hopeful because…. Other than this polyp, I’m very healthy, young and she has no doubt I’ll get pregnant after this.

So there it is. Surgery on the 20th! It’s going to be one step closer to getting pregnant and starting our family.

Fight fight fight! I can do this!

excuse any grammar/spelling errors, I’m on my phone and it’s impossible to type on it!

 
08
Jun

Yoga Like OMMMMMM????

I had my first yoga class yesterday afternoon in Shanghai. I was fully expecting a classroom full of six or so people. Um… I was the ONLY ONE! The lady at the front desk told me that every class needs a minimum of two people, otherwise there is no class. And since the classes I want to go to are in the middle of a work day, it may or may not happen. 

Well, guess what? The studio (at the spa) called me and told me to come into class at 3pm. To my surprise, I was the ONLY ONE that was there. The teacher made an exception for me since it was my first class in Shanghai. *cue angels singing*

To be honest, every time I take a group class… I get a bit nervous, anxious and wish I had a friend to go with. So for my first class, I was happy to be by myself so I can get the hang of the kind of yoga, without feeling strange that I have experts next to me.

Why the sudden spark to take yoga? Actually, I looked up a lot of yoga studios in Shanghai when we moved here. I wanted to be fit, I wanted a stress reliever and I wanted to be healthy. I looked up prices, tried emailing different studios and I was bummed because the price seems comparable to NYC and most studios didn’t write me back. It was really just excuses though, if I enjoy yoga… and the prices aren’t THAT bad (with membership), then it’s worth it right?

My doctor recommended that I do yoga for stress relief, exercise and to help my neck/shoulder pains. Of course, like the lazy bum that I am, I just said ok but never did it. While we were visiting America, I had a revelation talking to my BFF, my friend Jess (NCMC) and being filled with love from seeing everyone.

1. BFF and Jess (who oddly enough have the same English name first and last) both told me: They wouldn’t change anything right now and their lives are filled with love because of their children… they both feel they would have an equally fulfilled life if they didn’t have children. Told me to enjoy the time I have with my husband sans children because once you have children, it’s all about them. And they didn’t mean it in a negative way but how everything shifts. Hearing that in person and seeing them with their children, I understood what they meant. They LOVE their time with their children but they are right, it’s hard to do things on the fly. 

2. I want to take more action with my health. Clearly, I’m not good at handling stress. So I will use yoga or meditation/whatever else to help me balance that. Right now I will try yoga but if that doesn’t help, I will try things until I find what suits me best. Plus my SIL raves about hot yoga and I told her I would try yoga when I returned to Shanghai. (Thanks Jenny!)

3. I had a shift in my thinking. For so long, I kept thinking… “Why can’t I get pregnant?”, “what’s wrong with me?”, “Of course I’m not pregnant….” etc. I think moving to a new country (where I don’t speak the language), being mistaken for an ABC (American Born Chinese) and getting slack for it, not having a lot of friends really BUMMED ME OUT. It’s so weird, I went home… I saw my family, friends and I felt a change. I came back to Shanghai and it felt like home. I am thankful that the three or four friends I have here have been WONDERFUL to us. Instead of wanting MORE friends, I want to take these few friends and get to know them even better. I want to live in the NOW with the people who are in my life.

4. My health. I’ve let my health decline because I haven’t been happy. All I could think about was getting pregnant. I know that will be top priority, I will continue to go to my fertility doctor and find ways to make it happen. I will also try to eat healthy, exercise and have FUN. I want to LIVE my life. 

I don’t know what or why I feel a sudden change and excitement after returning to Shanghai. I really hope this lasts for a while and becomes life changing.

Has anyone else felt like this?

I haven’t felt this excited since I got into Juilliard for grad school. 

Hope this all made sense. I have so many thoughts running in my head and I am not a writer… I’m sure you can tell. LOL 

And this blog is seriously so therapeutic. I know when I have my good days, you guys cheer me on. When I have bad days, you cheer me up. 

Thank you so much.

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