pic of the walkway outside our home

When it rains, it pours. I’ve been having a rough two weeks. 

Lots of things have been going on with me physically. I’m ok. I broke out in 3″ hives on my back, neck and chest. It’s all stress related. It started two days ago and today is day 3 and thankfully it’s going away. I’ve been grinding my teeth even while I’m awake and that is just a terrible feeling both physically and emotionally.

So I’ve been a little emotional these days and today I went to the market and I asked the lady where to find mai fun noodles. She responded but I couldn’t understand her so I asked her if she could show me where it is. Then she pointed at her box of stuff she needs to stock and she screamed at me. Not yelling… pointing her finger at me then the box – full-out SCREAMING. I spoke to her in Chinese, she spoke to me in Chinese. I didn’t use English at all, only Chinese because I know most people don’t know English and I don’t expect them to. I did, however, expected a normal response. I get that I’m a foreigner but I don’t deserve to be yelled at like that for asking a question.

Then I went to the veggie stand and I was in line to get my things weighed and priced. An older lady came in front of me and knocked my veggie off the scale and put hers on there. I had been waiting in that line for a good 10 minutes so I wasn’t going to let her push me around. I took her veggies off and then I pointed to the line. She threw my veggies on the ground and got her stuff weighed and priced. The person pricing things didn’t care. I walked away.

I don’t have a thick skin at all. I cried. I think back to the times we were in NYC and I can’t even remember a time where I was treated that way. I hear my midwest and southern friends saying they heard NYC is a rude city. Honestly, it’s NOT a rude city. People are generally kind but busy and I’ve made some really amazing friends from NYC. 

I normally wouldn’t give two craps about what happened at the grocery store today but with all the stress I’ve been having, it broke me down. The nicer, more expensive expat stores, obviously don’t have this problem. But they don’t sell Japanese sweet potatoes. I really wanted that today.

When will I ever get used to this? I guess I won’t, I guess I should start going to the expensive expat stores from now on. Or I should buckle down and grow thicker skin. But then again, I even get that on the subways here. People block the entrance to the train so that nobody can get out, so the people inside, push and shove. I’ve witnessed a number of fights between the pusher and the pushed. They shout, they push each other and then sometimes the local subway workers come and try to diffuse it. Sigh. This could all be avoided if they simply wait on the sides of the doors, let the people off first and then go in. That’s what we do in NYC

I came home, I put my groceries away and had afternoon tea. I steamed a mantou bun, made white earl grey tea the hubs got me in Singapore and an orange. I ate and drank in silence contemplating about how stressed I’ve been. I started to miss home and got sad about the stress I’ve been under.

Even though I had a few bad experiences at local stores, I can’t complain about Shanghai. The friends I made here are simply wonderful. Though, we’re not at the point of “hey guess what? I’m freaking stressed out and want to tell you my whole life story. Hugs?”. I sometimes wonder if I ever will have those kinds of friendships in my 30s?

Are we past the age where we can start new friendships and then they turn into super friendships?

Just like any city, there are good and bad people. Shanghai is just one example of that.

Right when I was feeling super down about being yelled at and having my veggies thrown on the floor… an old grandpa patted me on the back and said “xie xie” (thank you) over and over again for me holding the door open for him. He had the biggest smile on his face and so did I.

Another video for our loved ones. Hope you Enjoy!

Remind me to never take the subway during rush hour ever again. Was squished like a can of sardines. Haha

Though the people handing out fliers amused me. They stood on the handrails so they can give it to the people on the escalator.

Expat Life: Shanghai, China from anniegurumi on Vimeo.

April will be five months since we’ve lived in Shanghai. The number one things our loved ones ask us is to post more pictures. I started to take video as well as pictures on my iPhone and thought I would make a video of some highlights while we’ve been here. I didn’t want to bore anyone so I kept it under 2 minutes and hope you enjoy!

Video was made using iMovie on my iPhone. 
Music by: Magicat “Jabberwock” (My friend made this album and it’s amazing! Go check it out.)

See that business card? Yup, it is one of my favorite places to shop for gifts for the lovely little children in my life. Well, the little girls anyway. The shop is located in Tianzifang which is a wonderful, popular, market that has lots of shops, food and is very charming. I don’t know what this store is called but I frequent it often because everything in the store is handmade and I am a sucker for handmade things.

My BFF HJ has a beautiful daughter and I wanted to send my little niece something from Shanghai. I bought her a rabbit since little Zoe is half Chinese, half Korean and she was born in the year of the rabbit. It’s so nice because the person in the shop, hand stitched her name for free. Love it.

I discovered this shop with my husband when we first moved here. My first purchases were for my nieces: the tiger for Claire – she was born in year of the tiger and her sister Aerin, who was born in the year of the rabbit. The owner stitched their American and Chinese names onto the feet of the dolls and I just love it. You have no idea how much I miss my nieces, I haven’t even met Aerin yet and I can’t wait to give both of them the biggest hug and many kisses to my gorgeous nieces!

This store also had beautiful handkerchiefs and variety of dolls. It’s a small store but definitely has a charm to it. I have a good feeling that I’ll be going back quite a bit, especially when my nieces get older and start liking dolls. I’ll probably buy the whole store for them.

There were so many little stores in Tianzifang and one of them (I forgot which one) had a person who makes paper cutting art. We bought these framed hand cut papers (Claire – Tiger; Aerin – Rabbit) that also had their names hand painted in Chinese. We thought it would be nice to send so they have a little bit of Shanghai.

Tianzifang isn’t the cheapest place in Shanghai. But I think it’s worth a visit and especially a great place for those that are really special in your life. If you’re looking for cheap, easy and typical gifts then I suggest you go to Yuyuan Bazaar (Yu Gardens) or the Science and Technology Museum underground market. Those places will have Chinese dresses, chops sticks and other Chinese things.

So what do you think of the dolls I bought? I adore them… Hopefully, when we get pregnant… I’ll have a daughter. HA! It’s only because I love ribbon and lace so much. But I would be happy with a baby that is healthy and happy.

Hi friends, do you have any idea how difficult the Chinese language is? Yes – It’s crazy I tell you. But I’m still plugging away with the lessons and although my teacher says that I’m learning much faster than her other students…. I sometimes feel overwhelmed when I’m outside of a lesson setting. I freeze like a deer in headlights when I’m on my own and for some reason I forget the things that were so easy for me to say in my lessons.

Sigh.

If any of you are expats, I’m sure you understand how moving to a new country can be lonely and scary. Moving to China has been one of the worst and best experiences for me.

I guess I shouldn’t say “worst” because I’m doing ok. I do have to say, trying to learn a language you don’t know AT ALL…. not to mention, it’s not romanized, is tough. I’m learning to speak, read, and write. WRITING IS HARD. I just have to memorize a bunch of characters that are not phonetic. But…. I am having fun and love being able to speak when I can. It does get easier each time I’m on my own and I’m forced to remember my Chinese. 

But being an expat made me whole heartedly appreciate everything I have in my life. My wonderful family back in NJ, my amazing friends in NYC and made me (in a way) grow up, really fast. In the beginning, I couldn’t do anything without my husband. You know why?! Because – I don’t speak Chinese. I felt so useless and bothersome. I spent most of my days feeling like a prisoner in my own home because I was too scared to go out on my own.

Shanghai is actually a lot like New York. The subway system is so easy, the signs are in English and it’s pretty straight forward. If you go to an expat grocery store, then things are in English but if you go to the local market – - – forget it. You need to know some Chinese. I can now have basic conversations, know the numbers and other general things that are used in a market. 

I was so tired of not having any friends and so sick of being lonely. I do have two wonderful family friends here in Shanghai but I don’t want to solely rely on them all the time. Though, I still do. But they are awesome and understanding so it’s ok. 

Anyway, like I was saying – I was SICK of being lonely. I ended up doing some internet searches and we also heard from some friends about Shanghaimamas.org. I wanted to meet other “moms” or other women who are wanting to get pregnant. I am so glad I did because I met with two ladies for lunch today from SHM and I had so much fun. All I wanted was to speak English for longer than 5 minutes at a time and have someone who “gets” me. It was a glorious two hour lunch where we talked about what it’s like to be an expat in China. Fabulous. Seriously, just what I needed.

I think that’s what I’m going to do. I have to go searching for people, I don’t know how else I’ll find friends especially since I don’t have a job or school. I was talking to the ladies today and they told me there were yoga classes that are taught in English for expats and that is also a good way to meet friends. I have to say, today really was amazing. I needed that.

Today’s blog entry is very scattered and not organized. I’m very tired, didn’t sleep well, so excuse my poor writing. What can I say? I’m a musician, not a writer.  

For those of you that are expats and you’re feeling lonely….

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  

Hang in there and keep your hopes up. And if you get super lonely – you can always write me an email because I love having virtual penpals. Although, my email seems to send ok but not receive. Hmmmm. Got to fix that. 

I hate that I got the stomach flu in Shanghai. Actually, it doesn’t even matter that it was Shanghai except the fact that we just moved here a few months ago and other than my husband – I had nobody that could take care of me. That was the most awful feeling ever. I ended up crying and telling my husband that I wish I had someone to take care of me while he was at work. Sigh, being an adult sucks. I had to take care of myself!

via Pintrest

 Seriously, the stomach flu is one of the most awful things I have ever experienced in my life. First, came the body ache. Then the chills – NOTHING could keep me warm, not even the electric blanket on high. I was shaking so much from being cold but my body was incredibly hot and I definitely ran a fever. I couldn’t eat anything and over the course of a day I finally broke my fever by just keeping warm.

Then I realized after a day of feeling this way, that’s when it hit me. My stomach has the most intense pains I’ve ever felt. It was sharp and it was constant and guess what? I was in the bathroom probably 4 times an hour, literally morning to night. The worst part was not being able to drink water without being in pain. Awful, just, AWFUL.

The sad part was the fact that no medicine could help this go away. With the stomach flu – you have to let it pass through. That means, whatever comes up or down – let it OUT. Don’t take medicines that stops your body from expelling it because it’ll just take longer for you to get better.

via nemu-nemu.com

Since water wasn’t an option without being an extreme pain, I drank Pocari Sweat. Gatorade would do the same. It was suggested by Elyse, who said I needed to get some fluids in me and get some electrolytes in me. I was so surprised because I had no pain drinking this and I finally was getting some liquids in my body.

via Pintrest

Simple soft, white bread was so helpful for me while I had the stomach flu. The bread soaked up stuff in my stomach and it was finally helping. I ate bread, rice porridge (congee), rice with gentle liquids (soup, hot water etc), and saltines. That was it, what an exciting diet for being sick right? Yeah – but it’s what you need to do. Do NOT eat spicy, greasy and basically anything you think will be bad.

via Wikipedia

My BFF HJ was telling me that I need something for the extreme stomach pains. She is a PharmD, yes – a DOCTOR of Pharmacy. Yeah, she’s like the super hero of drugs and has really been helpful whenever I am sick. She was telling me to take Pepto Bismol but I didn’t have any but I did have Nexium. HJ told me that it would help neutralize the acid in my stomach to help with the pain. Once I took it, I was a lot better! The pain was still there but not as bad and slowly started to go away.

I am not a doctor of medicine but these are things that helped me. I hope these tips help and remember to use common sense. I would strongly advise that you stay as warm as possible, hang in there and go see a doctor if it lasts more than a few days. Mine lasted almost a week but the last few days, I felt a lot better and knew I was on the road to recovery. I think I’ll still go in for a check up in a few days, just for my own peace of mind. 

Stay healthy everyone! 

The year of the Dragon!

Hello everyone!

Xīnnián kuàilè! (Happy new year in Mandarin) Yesterday was the first day of Chinese Lunar New Years and guess what I was doing? NOTHING. I was in bed since New Year’s Eve. I have some kind of stomach flu that has been awful. No sleep, no food and tons of pain, chills and I am grumpy! 

Started to play mahjong and then I felt sick

We were supposed to spend time with family friends but I became so sick that I had to come home and ever since, I have looked like I haven’t bathed in over a year. I look horrible. I have to laugh because I seem to start the year, every year, sick. Sigh – I HATE MY BODY! Elyse told me to make homemade pocari sweat (electrolytes) by using some sugar and a pinch of salt, I also put in some fresh ginger. I think I added too much salt but my stomach is calming down a little more!

Anyway. On to something else!

While we have been living here we have been told that custom-made suits, coats, dresses are extremely cheap here. An even bigger plus – you can bring in a picture of what you want, you pick out the fabric, you can tell them if you want to alter the fit and haggle till you can both agree on a price. I’m rather excited about this because I don’t think I have anything that has been custom-made from scratch. 

I think once Chinese New Year stuff is over (I think it’s supposed to last 15 days) we are going to go to the fabric markets and give it a try. I know my husband wants a nice custom-made suit and I wouldn’t mine having something a bit stylish. I also want to go to the pearl market in Hongqiao because they also custom make jewelry from pearls there and I read that you can get a range of quality – from the low and cheap to the high and expensive. I don’t need fancy pearls, I just want some to fresh up my outfit. I have a beautiful pearl necklace that my BIL gave me when I got married (and wore for my wedding) and I’m terrified of wearing it in public because it’s so expensive.

I’m going to go crawl back into bed because I feel sick still. We also didn’t have internet for a bit but the internet guy came this morning and fixed everything. Oy. I hate being sick, I also hate not having internet. But before I do, here are some Chinese jackets we bought for our nieces when we moved to Shanghai so they would have them before CNY! Aren’t they cute? They didn’t have an infant size so we bought the smallest one we could find.

Chinese jacket we bought for Aerin

Chinese jacket we bought for Claire

There was a crazy amount of fireworks from 6pm (eve) to 4am (new years day) and even the day after! I had dreams that I was being shot repeatedly and realized it was the insane amount of fireworks right in front of our windows!

I hope everyone has a wonderful, healthy and happy new year! Sending love to my family and friends from Shanghai! XO”

Oh my goodness! I had another intensive course of Chinese and my teacher was saying that I’m learning 3 times faster than her other students! I’m so happy and scared because she keeps giving me more and more to study and I feel stressed trying to learn everything in time. I have 2 hour lessons, twice a week and the intensive course is designed to pack what you learn in two and a half weeks into one. Then on top of that I’m learning 3 times what a normal student would and that is a lot of INFO. But I enjoy it and have an unusual talent for picking up languages, probably from being a musician.

I’m learning how to read, speak and write! So I’ve been emailing my MIL and FIL with the Chinese that I learn instead of English when I can. They are so impressed! I’m so happy because it would be my dream to be able to converse with my MIL without the language barrier. My FIL told me yesterday that he’s impressed with my speaking too, my MIL said that my pronunciation and tones are perfect. YAY!

I’m typing on my computer and iPhone with pinyin to type out the characters but I also know how to write them as well. So I will try to write some things, that probably won’t really flow well but I want to practice!

I texted my husband and I did great with the Chinese I wrote (above) except the last word I wrote was used incorrectly.

Me: I drink green tea. I learned Chinese.
W: wow that’s great!
Me: Thank you! Laugh. I am tired, I will rest today. I love you!
W: haha I love you!
Me: Do you understand? I’m fine, come home (soon)!
Me: Please
W: I understand! (english)
 
W told me after his last text (I couldn’t fit it all here) that the word I used “please” wasn’t correct in this context. lol Well anyway, it was fun! I have a feeling I’ll be writing more and more Chinese as I learn! Wish me luck.